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Post by wisemuslimah on Aug 14, 2012 16:19:46 GMT -5
:'(salam aleikum..I feel so sad sometimes because I have tried fasting but then I had to stop because I didnt want my family to suspect me of being muslim. I prayed to Allah to forgive me and to have mercy on me and to never give up on me even though I have broken my fast at wrong times(not because I wanted to) and eventually I had to eat pig. Though I didnt when my aunt made pork and I lied and said I didnt like pork, but It was more than that of course. When her boyfriend asked, "your not eating it because of religious reasons or just because you dont like it?" I was VERY embarassed and replied," I just dont like it" because I didnt want to be accused of being muslim.(this was right before ramadan). Now like I said I have been eating pork just to please my family and not to have them suspect anything.I was striving to be the best muslim I could possibly be and it just hasn't worked out. I feel SO VERY impure. I ask Allah to forgive me and to take away all the impurites from pork, ham when I have to eat it and ask him to forgive me but I still feel horrible about it. Just now my mother was expecting to see me today and I had to ask my father to call her and tell her I wasn't coming today just because I can't eat what she was planning to make. I cried because I feel bad.(I haven't seen her for about a year and she came down from virginia this week) Any suggestions..advice?
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Post by Ibrahimi on Aug 19, 2012 21:11:17 GMT -5
BE BRAVE!!
TELL THEM YOU WANT TO BE MUSLIM AND HAVE ACCEPTED ISLAM. Despite what they say they cannot make you NOT be Muslim. And God will reward you for any suffering you undertake. Just be brave and tell them. There is nothing wrong with being ACCUSED of being a Muslim. They might call you whatever they like but you know what you are and God knows what you are. You are not a terrorist or a bad person, you are a Muslim striving to be the best person you can be. Be brave, take a stand and speak up. Dont' argue, just say what you have to say and don't be bullied by fear into not trying to do your best to please God. It's a big step but I know you can do it.
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Post by wisemuslimah on Sept 1, 2012 18:50:12 GMT -5
Thanks for the encouragement. I got a free Quran(Saheeh International) not the best translation but hey it is free! Anyways, my dad had to have seen it because he placed it on my bed. Im surprised he didn't say anything about it being a Quran. Most of my family knows about muslims and they know that most aren't terrorists, but I'm still afraid they will laugh at me and not take me seriously. It is hard listening to them talk about muslims to me as if they were aliens, yet I am one and I'm pretty sure they don't even have the slightest idea about my knowledge of Islam, although my dad has to know that I'm interested by now. Ahh it is so awkward when my grandma,aunt and cousin talk about muslims in front of me and I wan't to join in and improve the convo but I'm scared and I just deal with it...except when My cousin complains about how women can't wear the khimar in France..and how women dont drive..um muslim women drive! and sometimes he thinks I go against muslims(which does not feel good) but in reality I know waaay more than he does, and he is a pretty smart person. Oh well sorry for this long reply and thanks again:)
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Post by Ibrahimi on Sept 15, 2012 19:33:54 GMT -5
no problem. I hope I helped. There are those who have their biases and there is not much that can be done. We all go through the someone talking bad about Muslims when they think none are around. And most people are arrogant enough to talk about things that they do not know or understand. It's unfortunate. But keep on trucking. Your faith is for Allah, and Allah alone. Have faith in God and hold on to him tightly. Taking God seriously, loving him and trying your darndest to stay away from his wrath and far from the path to Hell is one of the few things that will make sure you will always be an upstanding person and it will give you grounding in a world that uses God's name in vain or pure self-interest, ignores him or outright rejects him. Don't forget to pursue your worldly paths but never toss God away or put him on the backburner, look to transform whatever you do or love to do into something that God will approve of (even if it's helping out family members with the money you earn, but don't be taken advantage of either). And never foget the small kindnesses and to reject rage, to stand up for yourself but not justify yourself in everything and to speak what is right and good. Salam sister. I pray to God for you on this path of life. I ask you to pray for me as well. Please feel free to post any questions or concerns that you feel can be answered here.
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Post by wisemuslimah on Sept 30, 2012 21:37:25 GMT -5
thank you for your help and yes you will be in my duas. may allah reward you.
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